It would appear that our fair childhood home is under quite the crime wave. Torn from the headlines of the Columbia Press, I present the highlights of the Warrenton Police Report:
1. Name withheld, Arrested on a Detainer out of Parole and Probation. I withhold the name out of Warrior courtesy, but he is a member of the illustrious Class of 1980. He seems a regular on the Warrenton police blotter. I sat next to him in Band and he introduced me to AC/DC which makes him alright in my book.
2. Police received a report that a person was laying on the sidewalk at 1st/Main Street and Alder. An officer contacted an intoxicated woman. Her sister was contacted and gave the woman a ride home.
3. A woman reported hearing a fence rattling at her residence on the 300 block of Silverside in Hammond. She thought someone as trying to climb the fence. An officer contacted several subjects in the area.
4. A woman reported that her dog had been shot with a pellet gun during the night on the 500 block of SW Juniper.
5. Police received a report from a person who said his neighbor was trying to tap into his Internet cable service.
6. A caller reported that someone had egged their house on the 1100 block of SW Cedar Drive.
7. A man reported that a black lab bit him on the arm and drew blood at Fred Meyer.
When I make the leap from structural engineer to caped crusader one of these days, I'm going to cut my crime-fighting teeth in Warrenton. I just cannot sit idly by while people sleep on the sidewalk or steal Internet service in our fair town. Egging might be tolerated depending on the individual. For Sale signs on the WHS lawn will be allowed of course.
And a big shout out to my sister, Carole. Her Christmas gift of a year's subscription to the Columbia Press never fails to put a smile on my face. Thanks girl.