And finally, the reason I'm doing this daggone blog thing anyway. Some time ago, while Debbie was incubating our second child and had been fast asleep since 6:00 PM, I sat down with a vast quantity of Crown and Coke, unlocked the deepest corner of my memory, dusted off the cobwebs from my memory scrapbook of all the concerts I had attended since The Beginning, and just started writing. It all came back pretty easy actually, being that people who are middle-age crazy like myself can remember with exacting detail the most unimportant and irrelevant facts while at the same time needing to look at their driver's license to remember their ZIP code. Who ever uses their ZIP code anyway, when you have those little address stickies you put on your mail, you never write it down.
Anyhoo, I had The Concert Calendar on a personal website, but decided to dump that site. However, I decided that the concert calendar MUST LIVE ON. So, this bloggy thing was born. Here it is, in all it's splendor, the Concert Calendar or "A lifetime of being a slave to the METAL":
1983
Billy Squier/Def Leppard - Memorial Coliseum. My first ever concert, I (and most of the place) were there for the Leps, and I think Billy knew that also. The Leps rocked, and Billy's career vanished after that real lame video. 4-stars. Would have been five if the Leps headlined.
1984
Def Leppard w/Uriah Heep - Memorial Coliseum. First of all, who the hell is Uriah Heep anyway.. and who gives a shit, the Leps brought down the house!! This was the "Pyromania" tour, tickets were a whopping 15 bucks. I took my brother, Chris, who I had to tell to be quiet halfway through "Rock Rock Till You Drop" because I couldn't hear the band. 5-Stars. Honorable mention for Dad crapping himself because I got home about 3 AM.
Blue Oyster Cult w/Aldo Nova - Memorial Coliseum. Aldo Nova sucked. BOC (a perennial fave of mine - "Revolution By Night" tour) kicked ass! We had floor seats and had to drive through ice, sleet and snow to cross the Hwy 30 pass, but it was worth it. Cult played all their hits, and Godzilla was there also! 4-Stars. Would have been five were it not for Aldo Nova saying, "Merry F*cking Christmas." I'm a Christian Goddammit, and I LOVE Christmas!
Judas Priest w/Great White - Memorial Coliseum - "Defenders of the Faith" tour. This was pre-club inferno Great White and with all their hair, and they couldn't get offstage fast enough for me. What can I say about Priest which hasn't been said before? Simply put... Rob, Glenn, K.K, Ian, the Metallion, smoke bombs, lasers, a Harley, twin guitars and walls of Marshalls turned up to 11... It just doesn't it get any better!! 5-Stars. Honorable mention for Mike's truck breaking down near Knappa, and Me, Mike and Rex walking five miles before being picked up by a drunk-ass driver.
1985
Ronnie James Dio w/Yngwie Malmsteen - Memorial Coliseum - "Sacred Heart" tour. I was amped for this show as I loved both of these cats. Yngwie was godlike of course, and nobody knew anything about him (more later). Dio should have been great except that I could not hear Vivian Campbell on guitar which was a shame, cause he rules on record. Still, Dio brought all the props... dragon, knights, lasers and that goofy-ass sword. 3-Stars. Would have been two without Yngwie. Took my brother, Chris, who is a Vivian Campbell non-believer to this day... "can you hear me now?"
1986
David Lee Roth w/Cinderella - Memorial Coliseum - "Eat 'em and Smile" tour. Cinderella was okay, but I was never a fan, though that Keifer guy has a nice set of lips on him. Anyhoo, David was David doing all the David stuff. The standouts however were Steve Vai on guitar and Billy Sheehan on bass, especially the "guitar duel." Where the hell is Billy Sheehan? He should have a statue next to Lincoln's for having the balls to play "lead bass." 3-1/2 Stars. Two stars for Steve and Billy, one star for the guitar duel, and half a star for Diamond Dave.
1987-1991: Overseas and out of the loop
1991:
Phil Graham Memorial Concert. Battery Park, San Francisco, CA. For any of you with parents who were flower children, Phil Graham was like thier god in the 60's. He introduced the world to Jefferson Airplane, Jimi Hendrix, Grateful Dead just to name a very few, and I think founded the Fillmore West. Anyway, whilst I was outprocessing the Navy at Treasure Island, this guru up and dies, and so all his stoned-out has-been's decide to throw a free concert at I think Battery Park or some such place. Can you imagine every B.O.'d, stoned hippy from 500-miles around gathered in one place... for free?!? So, of course I was there. I did not enjoy the show because I had to deal with 300,000 (true count) stinky hippies on all the mass transit lines. It took friggin' hours to get out of there. On the upside I saw Joe Satriani, Journey, and Carlos Santana (jazz/latin/blues experiment Santana... not "Smooth" Santana) among about 10 other bands, which was good even though I was like a mile away. I also saw stoners spinning, and saggy stoner boobies hanging out everywhere. I didn't realize you could buy fruit, weed, flutes, and blankets at a one-stop-shopping micro-bus. I left before the Grateful Dead hit the stage because I just couldn't friggin' stand to hear "Casey Jones" one more time!! 2-Stars. One for Joe Satriani, and a half for Journey and Santana each.
Queensryche w/who the hell gives a shit - Memorial Coliseum - "Empire" tour. Six words - Crystal-Clear Ass-Kicking Prog-Rock! This was QR at their ultimate. They played two sets... the "Empire" stuff, and then "Operation:Mindcrime" beginning to end with video and the whole she-bang. This was perfect as I was totally into the Ryche at this time. 5-Stars. Took Chris with me, and he loved it as well.
Metallica. Memorial Coliseum. Metallica's HUGE tour in support of the "Black" album. Now historically I was a huge fan of Met-allica, but I really did not like "Black" all that much. I think Metallica quit being Metallica after the "...and Justice for All" CD (which I truly loved.) I don't quite know why I didn't really care for this show. Perhaps from my seat the sound just wasn't all that great, I don't know but I didn't like it as much as I had anticipated. 3-stars for tons-o-mullets, trashy white dudes and chicks, and more 80's concert T's than you could shake an unused washing machine at.
1992
Blue Oyster Cult w/can't remember - Roseland Theater - BOC again you say? Are they still around you say? BOC rocked it, baby... old school style! 4-Stars. Tough to get 5 stars at the Roseland since it is such a friggin' dive. Honorable mention to the old hippies sitting in front of me who actually fell asleep during the Cult. They were partying hard at first, and then burned out... Made it easier for me to see the stage. Took Chris again to this one... he was marginally impressed as he was deep into "grunge" by this time, lost his appreciation for his "roots."
Yngwie Malmsteen w/does it even matter? - Roseland Theater - Front row, baby!! Got a personal guitar seminar from the man himself. If God came to earth and plugged in a guitar, He would sound like Yngwie. 4-Stars. Did I mention the Roseland and four-stars?
Ozzy Osbourne w/Slaughter - Memorial Coliseum - "No More Tours" tour. Holy shit do I hate Slaughter. Holy shit did Ozzy kick my ass! I won front row tickets to this show through the radio (KGON before it sucked). Sat right smack in front of a young Zakk Wylde, got water tossed on me by a then thin Ozzy (pre-Osbournes). Sounded friggin' incredible and I love Zakk to this day. 5-Stars.
1993
Megadeth w/don't friggin' care. Salem Armory. This concert was a little scary for me actually. My first time "in the pit." Some dude stage diving landed directly on my head, screwed up my neck, and I'm still in physical therapy. Other than this Mega-D rocked it white-trash style! I love Mega-D, so I loved this show but can only give it 4-Stars since the PA broke down about 3/4 of the way through the show, still The Daves soldiered on until the end.
Damn Yankees w/Jackyl. - Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall. I actually kinda liked Jackyl. They're deep-fried southern country f*cks, but they rock, and they bring along a chainsaw and cut shit up on stage. Damn Yankees were great! Sounded great and I was about 4th row, and Ted Nugent brought along flaming arrows and shot at fake deer on the stage. 4-Stars.
Blue Oyster Cult w/Galactic Cowboys. Roseland Theater. BOC again? Again BOC, this time they played "Golden Age of Leather," which is a personal fave. 4-Stars and no more BOC.
Alice in Chains w/don't care. Salem Armory. For such an "influential" 90's band, Alice in Chains didn't do much for me this night. For the record now, I really like AICs music, but the singer was boring and I just didn't have a good time (did I mention that I brought a girlfriend?), and just wanted to go to McDonald's and eat something. Lame lame lame! 1-Star (for the quarter-pounder).
Dream Theater w/who can even compete? Roseland Theater - "Images and Words" tour. Okay, I'm a HUGE DT fan! This was when DT was just breaking out behind "Images and Words," and quite unknown. I was FRONT-ROW BABY to watch John Pettrucci cut my head off. If God were to come down incarnated as Yngwie, then JC would come down as Johnny P. I was dumbfounded as to how great they sounded, and John... fuhgettaboutit!! 5-Stars At the Roselend even - a first!
Testament w/Green Jelly and Killer Dwarfs. Roseland Theater. GJ and KD sucked. Testament was probably really good if you were a Testament fan, which I'm not. Nothing against Testament, I had just never heard any of their songs. Why did I go? Did I mention going to concerts with chicks? 1-Star.
Night Ranger w/can't remember. Roseland Theater. This was a very sad version of the the "Sister Christian" Night Ranger that we all know and love. I think it was Jack Blades, Brad Gillis, and the drummer who sits sideways and sings alot. I missed alot of this show because, you guessed it... a chick. Anyway, I got to watch Brad Gillis for awhile which was cool. 1-Star. Missed most of the show, unfortunately, due to a run-in with venue security after being involved in a little girl-on-girl white trash episode of my own (but not of my doing). Long story.
Lollapalooza. Portland Meadows. What is worse than 12,000 smelly tye-died pimply faced stoner teens? 12,001 tye-died pimply-faced stoner teens. And I think there were at least 12,002 at this show. Gen-X Crap! Hated it! Did I mention that Alice in Chains headlined? The only good thing about Lollapalooza is that I got to hear Rage Against the Machine, who were very good. Other than this, crap crap crap! 1/2-star for Tom Morello's (Rage) guitar noises.
Van Halen w/Vince Neil. Portland Meadows. This was a very hot day with about 12,000 or so people outdoors. This was absolutely the closest I ever came to Death's door. I get the bright idea that I want to "mosh" my way to the front row. So, during the Vince Neil set (Steve Stevens on guitar... very cool) I set about to squeezing my way to the very front of the very packed crowd. So far so good I've got a great place to watch Edward Van Halen and maybe learn a lick or two. Then VH takes the stage.... I go about 155-lbs at 5'-6" on a very light day, and everybody else is big, sweaty, drunk and very belligerent. Long story short I am squished between a stinky-assed biker and the barricade, and the security will not pull me out, and I am starting to suffocate, this is a no-shitter. So, I decide to "mosh" my way back, which is unheard of. Well, I finally make it to the back, out of breath and I really thought I was dead for awhile. I sat out the rest of the show and don't recall anything. Go ahead... call me a puss. I won't do that again. 2-Stars. I'm sure VH was great, I just can't remember.
Spin Doctors w/can't remember. Portland Meadows. I don't remember the opener's name, but they had this song "Runaway Train." Anyway not my cup of tea. I really liked "Pocket Full of Dynamite" by SD. This was sort of a funny show, since I was about the oldest person there. There were actually fold-out seats at the Meadows for this evening show, and I was at about 4th row. The Spin Doctors were really really good. The bass player rocked and I just really dug the whole evening. 4-stars.
1994
Aerosmith w/Jackyl. Memorial Coliseum. Did I mention I liked Jackyl since they cut shit up with a chain saw? Same deal, different venue. I have to hand it to Aerosmith, they do sound damned good in concert. I don't really like Aerosmith all that much, but I was talked into going to this show and I suppose I had a good time. Not much of interest happened since by this time Aerosmith was "clean" and "sold-out." 3-Stars.
1995:
Dream Theater w/does it really matter. Roseland Theater - "Awake" tour. Cold winter night after a evening class at college. I remember this being a very happy time because for the first time in a long time I had no clingy chick to worry about. DT was touring in support of "Awake" which is a really cool album. Again, DT was abso-friggin-lutely fantastic. I stood front row and watched Petrucci wail! The nice thing about a DT crowd is that they're all basically music nerds which translates to generally well behaved and polite. No pushing, no fighting, just jamming. 5-stars! At the Roseland even!
Dokken w/can't remember. Roseland Theater - "Dysfunctional" tour. This particular opening band I can't remember the name of, but I do recall they were pretty cool. Their original music was not my cup of tea. However, towards the end of their set they started doing Judas Priest covers. The crowd loved it... Matt loved it! They get an encore, which just goes to show you that JP never goes out of style even in 1995, and you can't go wrong when you're Living After Midnight, Rockin' to the Door (Yeah, I know... Dawn... but it really does sound like Door). As for Dokken, this would be the last time ever you would see guitar legend George Lynch in the band. Now, I love George Lynch's playing, but I really couldn't hear him that well for some reason, his sound just wasn't cutting through the mix. At any rate, it was good to finally see Dokken. 3-Stars.
1996
G3 - Joe Satriani/Steve Vai/Eric Johnson. Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall. Could you get 3 finer guitarists in one room? If John Petrucci, George Lynch, and Yngwie were here we could have just packed up our concert gear and gone home for the rest of our lives (guitar players that is.) These guys are just friggin incredible. However, there does reach a point where even the most die-hard guitar-freak hits 32nd note overload and says "enough is enough" with the pure instrumental bit, and I said it about halfway through Satriani. Now, I think Joe is incredible, but I was needing some vocals. 4-1/2 Stars.
Scorpions w/Alice Cooper. Rose Garden Arena. I wasn't even aware that Alice Cooper was still alive and could care less. Alice did, however, sound pretty damned good, but I'm not a fan and won't offer an opinion since he's a legend and all. Now, I've been a long-time Scorpions fan and they sure as hell did not disappoint. I had floor seats fairly close-in and the Scorps played all their classics and sounded fantastic. Mathias Jabs can play the shit out of the guitar, and I never knew Klaus Meine was so damned short! This night I was only the 2nd shortest dude in attendance. 5-stars. Sidebar: It was the Scorps show when I had an epiphany... I noticed that I always saw the same people at these types of shows and nowhere else. These people had mullets, ripped T-shirts from the early Mega-D days, and obviously never saw the light of day judging from their pale, skinny bodies and dry, fried-out hair and molester mustaches... am I getting through without saying burned out 80's stoners? These people must not work, but just come out of the woodwork for butt-rock concerts. Still notice it to this day. I have a name for it, I call it White Trash Theater. It's like white trash, and it's put to music like opera or something.
Tori Amos. Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall. You're not mistaking, it's not a typo. Now, people who know me best would say that I am sometimes in touch with my female side. I can't help it if I used to have a thing for "damaged, angry chick" music. Jewell, Tori, etc. Don't know why, I suppose it was a fetish for broken chicks. I'm over it now. 3-stars for Tori getting off track too much for my taste, and not asking me out later.
Ozzfest - Ozzy/Danzig/Sepultura. Rose Garden. The best part about this show was that it was free. A friend had access to a business suite so he asked me to go. The downside is that the sound kind of sucks crap this close to the ceiling. The upside is that the suite had a refrigerator, which my friend and I pried open to get at the beer. The suite had TV, it's own bathroom, with a phone in the bathroom. I spent more time with the amenities than I did for Ozzy. Best part about the suite is that you don't have to fight over spots with the white trash proletariat, unfortunately I probably missed out on some supreme White Trash Theater 2-stars.
1997
Dream Theater w/don't even give a damn. Roseland Theater. DT touring in support of "Falling Into Infinity." I was pretty down hard with a head cold for this one. I had to take a ton of Dayquil to get through, but I soldiered on. DT was they're usual fantastic. I'm out of DT superlatives. 5-stars. Again, polite crowd of guitar nerds. No White Trash Theater to speak of, but it was never expected at DT.
1998:
Dokken w/can't remember. By this time, Dokken was without George Lynch, and the guitar player for former 80's infamous "Winger" was sitting in (Reb Beach). Dokken sucked. Those of you who know me know that I do not throw the adjective (or adverb... your call) "suck" around much - because I hate the word and I think "suck" sucks. Anyway, I will say this again, my beloved Dokken... sucked. No George (Reb Beach did sound killer tho), and Don wasn't hitting it - plus they took like forever to take the stage, and the crowd sucked - well you get the picture 1-star. 0-stars for Dokken, and 1-star for all the white trash and White Trash Theater (fighting, throwing up, general rude behavior). Took Chris to this show after a long haitus without him. He was equally unimpressed and spent all his time... looking for beer.
1999:
Queensryche. Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall. QR touring behind a sort-of lame Q2K album. QR was just sort of okay at this show. Had real good seats, but I just wasn't so into QR at this time. 3-stars. No white trash at this show either, which detracted from overall enjoyment value. In going with the QR tradition, I took my brother Chris, who I think had regained some of his appreciation of his roots, and seemed to enjoy himself more than I did.
2000: Nuttin'. I was working my ass off for The Man.
2001
Dio w/Lynch Mob. Roseland Theater. I had a somewhat bad experience with Dio back in the 80's, and I was really here to see George Lynch's band, Lynch Mob. In case you couldn't tell, I'm a huge Lynch fan. I took over my spot in front row in front of Georgie's 3 Peavy XXX stacks, and he let 'er rip. I loved Lynch Mob and George TOTALLY redeemed himself after the Dokken show I saw a few years earlier. Dio was just not doing it for me. Craig Goldie was on guitar and he is pretty great, but the Dungeons and Dragons crap was wearing a little thin with me. On the plus side, I saw several good white trash fights, including a chick fight which you don't get to see very often. Again I saw all the same people I see at the Roseland every damned show.... they LIVE there for Chrissake! Same T-shirts, same Camaro mullets, same molester mustaches. Do these people ever shave that peach fuzz crap off their chins!?!? Talk about White Trash Theater!! 4-stars. 4 stars for George Lynch and 1-star for the general White Trash Theater of the whole scene, but I have to subtract 1-star for the lame worn out Dungeons and Dragons motif. Sidebar: After this show I decided to throw in the towel... if you can't beat 'em join 'em I say. I bought a Lynch Mob T-shirt of my own and started collecting "reissue" T's from all my faves which I proudly wear for each outing. Only difference is that I wash mine, I have a job, I bathe, and I am "reformed" white trash.
Ratt. Crystal Ballroom. Now, I really used to dig Ratt back in the very distant 80's. I knew that Whatever Goes Around Comes Around, that's what I said! And so when I heard that Ratt was hitting town I was jazzed figuring this was probably the very last opportunity. Apparently, all the other gutter-dwelling vagrants who generally live at the Roseland also migrated to the Crystal for the Ratt show, which provided for some good seedy moments. I parked my carcass right in front row in front of Warren DeMartini's 2-Soldano stacks. If you've never stood 15 feet in front of a pair of Soldano SLO-100's, you haven't lived and you haven't done proper damage to your hearing, and you can't call yourself a Metalhead. These M-F'ers were f'ing LOUD! Even more impressive, when I glanced over at the amp settings, the Soldano's were only at 7!! I can't even begin to imagine 10, my head would have probably caved and my nose would be flatter than it already is!! Needless to say, Ratt was not the Ratt I remember as Stephen Pearcy was long gone, but Warren ripped my friggin' head off with his wall of tone. I enjoyed Ratt and give it 3-stars. 2-stars for DeMartini's amplitude, and 1-star for walking around saying, "what? huh?" for about two days afterwards. It would have been 4 stars if the original lineup was there. In keeping with the mood, I wore my BOC shirt... I washed it first. My brother Chris went with, but seemed unimpressed.
Living Colour w/Floater. Crystal Ballroom. I don't know who the hell Floater is, but I know a floater is a turd which has a specific gravity less than 1.0!! (Okay, science nerds might get that... other metal heads get with your nerdy friend and ask). Apparently, Floater is quite popular with some young PDX chicks, as there were several in the front screaming like crazy... probably the band wives. At any rate they were cute, and who can argue with a hot groupie. Anyway, on with Living Colour. "What's your favorite colour, baby??? Living Colour!! I can't say enough about how much I dig these brothers from NYC. I was sad when they broke up, and was pumped when I heard they would be doing their first show in 7 years in dear old PDX. Long story short, Colour rocked!! I stood straight in front of Reid's 2-stacks and got knocked over. I've never seen so many effects in my life, Vernon had no room to move. 4-stars!! Can you help a brother out?? Sidebar: My future brother-in-law (Jarrod) was in attendance, but we hadn't met at the time. He was drooling over Doug Wimbish's (bass) equally impressive gear and setup. In keeping with the white trash motif, I wore my Lynch Mob shirt. No White Trash Theater... white trash don't do LC.
AC/DC w/Slash's Snake Pit. Rose Garden - "Stiff Upper Lip" tour. I didn't get in for Slash, though I kinda wish I did. My good friend, Jonathan got us 100-level tickets for which I am forever in debt. Thing is, we started out at Cocina-Cocina and by the time Slash was set to go on, I had such a good raging buzz that I couldn't convince myself to go. Finally, we get into the venue right before AC/DC takes the stage. AC/DC was probably one of the very best shows I've ever seen. It was a perfect blend of perfect buzz, party crowd, great party music, great seats, and most of all... Angus! What a show. During "Whole Lotta Rosie," the cameras panned the crowd and chicks flashed their boobs to the camera. Buzz, Boobs, Back in Black, and a 21-gun salute with real cannons... concerts just don't come any better than this. 5-friggin stars!! I think I wore my Iron Maiden shirt for this one.
2002
Megadeth w/Endo. Roseland Theater - "World Needs a Hero" tour. Nu-Metal rockers Endo were not my cup of tea, not a bad band whatsoever, but just not for me. Now, I've mentioned that I just love Mega-D. I don't know if it's the kick-ass rock or Dave Mustaine's totally give-a-f**k-hate-the-world attitude, but I just love those dudes. Unfortunately, Marty Friedman (guitar) was no longer with the band, but an excellent guitar slinger was standing in. Still, this show was LOUD and ROCKED! This show was BY FAR the biggest spectacle of White Trash Theater that I have ever witnessed. Naturally, all the dregs of the earth were out in force since it turns out that they actually LIVE at the Roseland under the floorboards and in the bathroom (which is wet with pee-pee from wall to wall... and up the walls and across the ceiling). I have never seen so damned many mullets under one roof! For a second I thought I was at a NASCAR race. I saw AT LEAST three guy-on-guy fights, and AT LEAST one chick-on-chick fight, and AT LEAST one guy-on-chick (or vice versa) fight. Of course, all the surrounding dudes pounded that dude into oblivion... mulletheads do have a code... an ettiquette if you will, of some kind of whacked out chivalry. The very best part of the White Trash Theater was when the spotlight was panning the crowd and chicks were taking their shirts off. I've always been a big fan of free nudity. I saw dudes getting sick, and dudes just dropping over. Oh, and by the way, Megadeth sounded pretty damned good also. 5-stars. 3-stars for Mega-D, 1-star for nudity, and 1-star for just outright White Trash Theater in all it's splendor!! I think I wore Judas Priest for the evening.
Judas Priest w/Point Defiance. Roseland Theater. I had a great time at this show. I took my bro Chris, and my new bro-in-law Jarrod. Jarrod had never witnessed a true 80's metal spectacle like JP being that he's a young 'un, and I think his little world was rocked for a couple of hours. I don't mind saying I had about the perfect buzz going a la AC/DC, and I think so did my amigos. JP rocked the house! JP was louder than sh*t! Glenn and KK had not lost a step, and "Ripper" Owens could wail like a siren. I came away thoroughly impressed with the whole evening. There was probably some supreme White Trash Theater going on, but I just couldn't take my eyes off the stage as my old 80's heroes laid down a barrage of searing metal like a friggin' column of Abrams M-1 tanks. I felt like a tank had run me over by the end of the show and can't wait to see Rob Halford back in the driver' seat. 4-stars. If Rob were around it would have been 5.
2003
Dio w/Kings X and Hammerfall. Roseland Theater. I saw this show with my bro-in-law Jarrod, who is a huge Kings X (and now a Hammerfall) fan. If you were to step into a time machine and push "1985" you would come out and there would be Hammerfall. Long hair, leather, chains and pointy-ended guitars. The total 80's cliche and I really enjoyed the whole deal. Jarrod loves them now, also. Kings X was good. I'm not a fan, but I did have to respect the pure musicianship of the whole deal. Those 3 guys make alot of good noise together. Dio was boring as usual, and he's still playing Dungeons and Dragons. However, whoever was playing guitar could wail like a M-F'er (Edit: It was Doug Aldrich - no wonder). Let me say that outside of Mega-D, this was the 2nd biggest White Trash Festival I've ever witnessed. As Jarrod is my witness, there were several fights... again guy-on-guy, girl-on-girl, and guy-on-girl. Some basic White Trash belligerence, and probably a few pass-outs to go along with. Too bad they didn't take the stage instead of Dio. 3-stars (Edit: for Doug).
Joe Satriani. Roseland Theater. A sit-down concert, though since there's no place to sit, we stood. I saw this with Jarrod AND his Mom and Dad. I was one of the younger folks in the crowd. While watching Joe, I decided that, along with Point Defiance, I completely suck on guitar. Joe has a way of reminding you of that. His tone is beautiful, and he is flawless... If he wasn't so great, I would hate this man. 3-stars. 4-stars for Joe, and 1 star subtracted for no White Trash Theater.
Bon Jovi w/Goo Goo Dolls. Rose Garden. I don't care much for the Goo Goo's, but I do like a few of their tunes. I spent their set drinking at the beer garden. I saw this show with my bro Chris, Jarrod and my sis, Carole. Prior to the beer garden, we started out at McCormick's and Schmick's (a local upscale joint) with grub and hard liquor. Needless to say, by the time I got to my seat I was well oiled... perfect for a night of rock-n-roll. I really enjoyed Bon Jovi. It was sort of like watching legends on stage. You know that in their heydey they were bigger than life, and can still put on a good show. It wasn't a headbanger, just some comfortable fun, with comfortable Jon. No White Trash Theater to speak of. 4-stars. 4-stars for Bon Jovi, and 1 star subtracted for no White Trash Theater, and 1-star added for being picked-up on by chicks at the beer garden (which NEVER happens). Carole would have given it 6-stars I'm sure... 4 for Jon, 1 for his tight tight pants, and 1 for... well you know.
Dream Theater/Queensryche. Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall. Oh my Lord, is this a Prog-Rockers wet dream or what? Now I must admit that I was not too thrilled with DT's or QR's latest CD offerings, so I had to wonder. Well, wonder no more. This show was one of the best I've ever seen. I have never heard Dream Theater sound better, Petrucci shined! The bass was turned a little too low which sucked for Jarrod (a bass officionado), but I could hear Petrucci clear as day which worked for me. They did not play "Pull me Under," but it's been done to death. I had kind of given up on QR, but I must say I'm back to being a believer as they sounded great! Their new CD was pretty good also. At the end, the two bands got onstage together, played a Who tune and a couple of others. Musician's music does not get any better than this. 5-stars. NO White Trash Theater is even allowed at these shows, they kick the bastards out at the door!
Def Leppard. Clark County Amphitheater. Jeez, I'm back where it all started. I was skeptical since the drummer lost an arm and the Leps lost a guitar player since I last saw them (not to mention that Joe Elliot lost his mullet!) Vivian Campbell (see Dio) replaced Steve "Steamin" Clark, and I was curious as to whether he would be heard. I saw this show with Chris, Carole, Jarrod and friends Dale and Eileen, who are not your typical concert-goers, and would not have a fine appreciation for White Trash Theater, so I felt pretty comfortable taking them to Def Lep since the crowd is half chicks anyway. I was almost floored by how good Def Lep sounded. Just when you thought they'd played all their hits, they went and played two more. Did these guys write every top-10 hit beteen 84 and 88 or what? Phil Collen shined on guitar. Again, Vivian Campbell could not be heard!!! What is it with that guy?? I would give this 5-stars except that the show was "unloud." The volume ordinance at Clark Co. prevents any good ear bleeding, and you can't have 5-stars without volume (it's in the bylaws). So, I would give it a 4-plus
Living Colour w/Tony C. and the Truth. November 28, the day after Thanksgiving at the Roseland Theater Grill. I have never seen a show at the Roseland Grill, which resides right below the infamous Roseland Theater. The Grill probably seats about 3 to 400 max, and tonight there were probably about 200, which kinda sucks for Living Colour, but was great for me. I saw this show with Carole (my sis) and Jarrod (my bro-in-law). Show opens with Tony C. and the Truth (AKA "Buzz Waster"--as Carole called them), who are some wiseguys from NYC, and were sort of a cross between Springsteen, Seger, that Irish dude rapper from the 90's, and Vin Diesel. Very blues based with harmonica and everything. Actually, I liked Tony C, but perhaps that's the Margaritas talking. They handed out CD samples, which I listened to pretty much a whole day's worth. Enough of dat shit tuff guy, you talkin' to me?! What's your favourite Color Baby!?!?.... Living Colour!! Yeah, has it been two years already? Back in 2001 I saw Colour and loved it, this time was even better!!! You know where I was, right?? Front row baby! I parked myself right in front of Vernon's wedge (2 Crate Voodoo half stacks and a mountain of gear), and he cut my grinning head off again! Colour really rocked it on a very tight stage. Colour was tight... Doug Wimbish's bass was tight and he was grooving, Corey's voice was top drawer, and no question that Vernon Reid was on top of his game... Malcom X guitar and the whole 9! Will Calhoun was hitting the drums so hard he broke his drum head about the 3rd song, taped it up, and continued to the end. Colour played some good new songs, and a ton of old faves. They even played "Funny Vibe" which is a personal fave. One thing struck me about this show... Vernon and Doug have so damned much gear, I've never seen so many toys on stage. Check it, they had laptops on the corners of the stage, doing funky sounds, samples, loops, whatnot. Without a doubt, The Colours are some of the best musicians I've ever witnessed, and the crowd was into it!! To top it off there was even some white trash theater. We got involved in a little mosh pit at the front row. Now, I'm 37 (so's the rest of the crowd) and I'm thinking we're getting a little bit old for this crap (besides, I'm getting some prime guitar lessons from Vernon), but the stinky fat goatee white dude next to me and his equally stinky and even fatter pasty-faced girlfriend with the low-cut blouse decided it was time to mack and mosh. Actually, I'm not sure they were "together", but at least they were for this night. Anyway, we managed to dump the dude onto the floor from about 6-feet up after he tried to get onstage, and I think the fat chick probably passed out a short time after the show. (Otter... fat and stupid is no way to go through life.... Dean Wermer). Long story short, great show in a very intimate setting. I'll definitely be back for more Colour next time they're through. 4-1/2 stars!
2004
Dream Theater. March 3rd, Roseland Theater. Went with my bro-in-law Jarrod. This was billed as a double set with intermission - no opening band. Which rocks because NOBODY can pull off opening for DT - on with the review. Well, for starters, DT was 45 MINUTES LATE taking the stage!!! Now I'm no young dude anymore, and standing in the middle of the crowd for an hour is a loooong time to wait... and my buzz was a' wastin'. So, the Roseland is packed which is cool, and DT finally takes the stage. As you know I'm a huge DT fan and the new album just rips! I start out in the middle of the floor, and the sound ain't so hot there, and I can't see because I'm vertically challenged and of course standing behind the two tallest people in the venue. This was no fault of the band, just the same old Roseland crap. So, at intermission Jarrod and I move to a seat off to the side and it sounds MUCH better. I must say, I've never seen John Petrucci rip like this. He was from another planet. I also thought the keyboard player, Jordan Rudess was cool as all get-out with his rotating keyboard rig. John and Jordan do a fantastic solo piece in the middle. For the piece de resistance, for encore DT played "In the Name of God," which for those of you not in the know, it's about 8 minutes and full of rippin' solos, wankin' and general guitar self-abuse, which I'm all about. It sounded fantastic, and in itself was worth the cost of admission. DT sounded great once we found a good spot to listen. Another bright spot, there was a hot chick in the balcony who knew ALL the words to all the songs. You just don't see that sort of talent. Now, I must break tradition and only give DT 4 stars this time. The wait at the beginning was too much, and the sound was hurting for awhile, John Myung the bassist, could not be heard all night long which torqued Jarrod. My buzz was gone, and well, if I gave them the customary 5 stars, it would compromise the whole grading system. 4 Stars.
Folks, I got off the beaten track. I've seen a few shows since the last DT show, but in my busy-ness I never got around to doing the reviews. Just to show how bad my short term memory has become - I can remember what happened in 1984 but I cannot remember what happened between 2004 and 2007 except that there are more little people living in my house now. Anyway, the reviews in no particular order and I promise to be better in the future:
2005 thru 2006
Van Halen. Portland Rose Garden Arena. Dude it was about Thanksgiving and I was really looking forward to this "reunion" tour. Thanksgiving is one of my favorite times of year, and going to concerts is a favorite pastime - and did I mention drinking? Well, I went with my sis' Carole, her hubby Jarrod, and myself. I don't think we pre-functioned anywhere and just showed up at the arena. I did happen to bump into my cousin Shelley and her hubby Steve. Shelley is like the world's biggest VH fan from day one. I had a few drinks, but not nearly enough to get me past the spectacle I would witness soon. It should have been a foreshadowing of the money-grabbing, sell-outs that VH would soon become. Some band opened, I do not know who, but they were some kind of cross between Zeppelin and CCR. They sounded okay, so don't get me wrong. But, who the FOOK hires an opening band for VH that doesn't even play 80s style rock? Only a money-grubbing not-giving-a-shit-about-it's-fans VH would do such a thing. Anyway, VH takes the stage. Eddie is drunk again - big surprise, huh? He's strutting around shirtless with his hair in a ponytail on top of his head like your Mom when she gets out of the shower, which a 50 year old man should never do. The sound was tinny like a Coke can. Eddie's solo, which I had waited for so long to hear... it sucked. I'm going to say it again, it sucked. Some two-hand BS and then just sprawled out on the stage wanging his bar to feedback. He did no justice to his 5150s I'll say. The only thing sucking worse were all the 50 dollar bills being sucked out of our collective wallets. I will NEVER see VH again.
George Lynch. Now I gotta say this, this was the deal of the century. 12 dollars - I am not shitting. Here is a very long story and you can switch off if you like. I took the whole day off from work. Thomas the Tank Engine was in town and my son is a huge fan. For those of you who do not know, Thomas is a cheeky little wooden train who has his own show, and the trains cost the same as gold. So, we see Thomas, ride the train, whatnot. We tell my son that he can "meet" Thomas, get his picture taken, all that stuff. Well, we get up to Thomas, and Jordan is TERRIFIED of Thomas. Totally starstruck - very funny. We get the T-shirt instead. ANYHOO, later on at the show. George is just George and some other folks playing with him. He takes the stage at 11:00 PM no shit. He just starts playing all the old Dokken favorites, his Lynch Mob favorites - he is sounding GREAT! The singer sounds FANTASTIC - don't know who he was. It's a small little club, MAYBE 100 people. I stand right in front. It was so friggin loud I loved it. After the show, I run out and grab my guitar out of the car because I was hoping that with such a small venue George might be signing autographs. Whelp, I'm standing in line with my axe, I finally get up to George. Keeping in mind that George is like my idol for all these years and I'm finally meeting the guy... what to say... what to say?? Well, I get up to him, and CAN'T SAY A DAMN WORD. I think I said "I want a Red Rider BB Gun, lever action with a compass in the stock" or some other such shit. Just like my son. Well, GL signed my guitar and I got home at 2:00. Great night. 5-stars. 4-stars for GL and 1-star for Thomas the Tank Engine. Opening band, "Last Empire" friggin' killed.
Def Leppard/Bryan Adams. PGE Park. Outdoor show. I saw this show with my wife, of all people, and our good friends Dale and Eileen, who I saw the Leps with the previous time. Long story short, the Leps always deliver the goods. Great night. 4-stars.
Judas F-ing Priest/Queens F-ing Ryche. Clark County Amphitheater. Dude, I got 4th row for this show. This was the tour where Rob Halford rejoined the band. You know I was F-ing stoked BIG TIME for this show. I was not disappointed. I drank like a sailor right before the show - not drunk - just properly buzzed. It was July 4th, 2005 I think. So, it was a party atmosphere, nice weather for this outdoor event. QR took the stage and went through old-school QR hit after old-school QR hit. I'm talking NM156, old-school shit like that. QR sounded simply out of this world. The sound quality was so daggone good - it wasn't all that loud - but it was just, well, perfect. Very few newer tunes, and vocals just shined. I just loved it. Then.... time for... You've Got Another Thing Coming... the PRIEST! Man, I was so stoked for this. Priest started out with my all-time fave - Electric Eye. After that, I cannot even remember the playlist, but it was just JP hit after hit after bludgeoning hit. Glen Tipton was just spot-on the whole evening and very animated. Priest sounded fantastic - not as fantastic as QR - but hell, this is the Priest and nobody, but nobody compares. Rob seemed a bit tired, hung out near the back of the stage alot, which didn't bother me so much as worried me. Other than this, just an all-around fantabulous show. I love the Priest. 5-ballbusting stars!
Def Leppard/Journey. Clark County Amphitheatre. Okay, why do I always see the Leps? I do not know. This time I was really here to see Journey. Journey was pretty much all original except the singer (Jeff Scott Soto?) who previously sang for the likes of Yngwie Malmsteen and probably some others I'm forgetting about. Anyway, Journey sounded FANTASTIC. Soto sounded incredible. They were just fun to watch and rolled out hit after hit after hit. Loved Journey. Leps sounded good too, but no more Lep shows for me.
2007
Symphony X - July 29, 2007. Roseland Grill. Symphony Who you say? Symphony X is a prog-metal band that not many people know about. That's a shame. Symphony X is what Dream Theater should sound like today. They are that damned good. Think of DT, but with much huger balls. Small venue, about 200 people, and I just get right up front of Mr. Michael Romeo and his Line 6 half-stack. Superlatives cannot describe my love for this show. X was simply fantastic to watch. You know a show was great when all you do the next week is listen to their new CD. All of their kick-ass tunes brought to life with uncanny accuracy. The singer (who's name escapes me tonight) was one of THE best I've ever witnessed - outstanding. I have one complaint about the show which will keep it from 5-stars. It's that daggone Line 6 amplification. Now, if you wander over to my Gear page you'll see I have one and like it fine. However, when turned up loud, that digital distortion is just not right. Just plain unnatural if you ask me. It damages your ears like nothing I've ever witnessed. All those 0s and 1s just mowing down the little fine hairs on your eardrums like a reaper. I am still, 2 weeks later, suffering from minor tinnitus (ringing in the ears). Either that or I'm just finally getting old. Anyway, 4-1/2 stars. Loved Symphony X. No White Trash theater though.
Poison. August 8, 2007. Oregon Garden. When I first agreed to see this show, it was because I was expecting Ratt to be opening - and my love of Ratt is well-documented. Imagine my disappointment to find out that Ratt would not be here this night. Downright F-ing bummed would be a better word - especially after already shelling out the $$. I'm not a tremendous Poison fan, but my brother just raved about when they opened for KISS and basically stole the show. So I went with open mind. I must first say that the Oregon Garden is a great place to see a show. Outdoor venue, grass, on a gentle slope where everyone can see fine. Beer Garden, German Sausages. My ears were still ringing from Symphony X, and for the first time in my 41 years I wore earplugs to a show. Yes, I'm getting old. On with the review. I had forgotten just how many hits Poison had. They must've had a dozen if they had one, and they played each and every one of them. I stood about 25 feet from CC's side of the stage. I must say, Poison sounded great. Maybe it was the earplugs, maybe the beer, maybe the sausages, maybe the 25-year-old blonde chick with D-cups next to us and not bashful about showing them... I dunno, but it was a great show. I thoroughly enjoyed the show. Thank you CC Deville. Thank you Brett Michaels. Thank you for playing the kind of music a young girl can strip to. Thank you to the girl next door for making the evening even more special for the rest of us. 4-stars. 1-star for the Oregon Garden and beer gardens, 3 stars for Poison, and 1 star for D-cup girl.
2008
Previous to this, I had plans to meet my buddy Rich... or Rich Rock as he is known on the absolutely best kick-ass internet radio station, METAL SHOP. I stumbled over Rich's station while looking for a good Smooth 70s AM Pop station for work listening. My closest friends know that I am a closet Smooth 70s AM Gold fan. Starland Vocal Band (Afternoon Delight), old school BeeGees (not that disco business - well okay I like that too), Seals and Crofts, America, "Cool Change", all that shit. Really, I'm not gay, but it is music that I grew up listening too since the old Chase car was a VW bug with an AM radio. This was before 8-track even. Anyway, I found Rich's station, and it turns out Rich lives literally up the road from me besides having the best station on earth. So, we meet Rich and his friend and share a few drinks at the Newmark Theater Bar. Talk about the good ol' 80s gone by, when music was still fun.
Talk about a nice place for a show. The Newmark Theater. I think this was formerly the Center for the Performing Arts. I had been here once before to see A PLAY. Yes, during college a friend was taking a Theater Appreciation course, so I got drug out to a few plays. I saw a Shakespeare play here once, but cannot recall which since the guy wrote like a hundred some plays. There was no nudity in the play, so it didn't really leave an imprint. But, as a result I had been to the Newmark before. This place is SWANKY... to a Warrenton boy at least.
So, Don Dokken started his set. For this set he was doing acoustic versions of Dokken classics. I took one listen and said, "thanks, but no thanks." This sounded to me like a cross between Lesbian Seagull and Bill Murray singing the lounge version of Star Wars. This was like eating fat-free ice cream or drinking decaf - just not the way God intended. So, back to the bar for another C&C.
Finally, Queensryche takes the stage. We sat 1st row in the balcony - plush seats baby. Very comfortable. Queensryche played about an hour and a half, and it was a strange set. Considering the classic tunes they have in their inventory, they played some strange numbers. A few cover songs. A sing-along where someone from the audience was selected to sing lead. I cannot put my finger on why, but it just didn't do it for me tonight. Queensrych sounded GREAT. I will say that. However, I thought the vocals were low in the mix and hard to hear, which is a shame since Geoff Tate has a fantastic voice. When I spoke to Rich later, he informed me that they were doing some of their more obscure songs for this tour. Obscure is alright, as long as it is GOOD obscure, which I didn't think so. Rich said that from his seat he could hear the vocals fine. I dunno, maybe it was me, but I wasn't all ga ga after this one, and neither was Chris. He was downright disappointed. Still, Ryche is a great band and will always rank as one of my faves.
Ranking: 3-1/2 stars. The Newmarks gets at least a 1/2 a star for being a great place to see a show. Queensryche gets 3 stars. Crown Royal gets 1/2 star. And I subtract 1/2 star for absolutely ZERO white trash theater. What's METAL about no fights, no flashing, and no puking?
So, I met my brother at Captain Ankeny's for a few drinks before heading over to infamous Roseland Theater, of which I have such high praise. Really, though it's a dump, I love the place and have seen so many good shows and so many instances of White Trash Theater that the place makes me giddy. We walk to the door and the line is ENDLESS... or at least around the block. Apparently, there are still a few pathetic people like myself who dig the Tesla. So as to not waste a good buzz watching people try to scalp Tesla tickets out front we decide to hit another watering hole. Right across the street is "Puckers". Now, the last time we hit this joint was before the Whitesnake show, and it was a "Gentlemen's Club" though I don't recall it being called "Puckers." So, I figure WTH, let's check out Puckers since I have a few stray one-dollar bills in my wallet. Maybe the chick who eats fire and burns candle wax still "dances" there.
Well, we get in and approach the bar.... and, well... we weren't in Kansas anymore Dorothy. Though Dorothy would probably be the Patron Saint of this joint. I say to my brother, "Chris... there's nothing but DUDES in this place." There were Cowboys, Indians, Policemen, men in studded leather, men in suits... nothing but DUDES. Yes, you guessed it - one of those joints that Portland is so so famous for. However, by this time a C&C was already on it's way for me - and a beer for Chris. So, we're in for over 10 bucks at this point and decide to sit down and finish our drinks at least. Besides, I think these people like me. About halfway through his drink Chris tells me he's gotta go to the bathroom. So, I'm like, "whatever you do, don't tap your feet in the stall". A few moments later Chris returns and says when he got to the bathroom, there was a shirtless dude blocking the door. Chris reconsidered his need to pee and left. Then Chris says to me, "wanna see this joint clear out?." So, he goes over to the jukebox, which it's a jukebox that is hooked up to the internet and you can download almost any song. Chris puts on some Tesla, and once "Dancing Queen" was over and Tesla hit the turntable, the place nearly empties, which goes to show that gay dudes don't go for 80s metal.
So, we leave that joint and get to the Roseland - manhood INTACT. The opening band was an act called Cinder Road. I had never heard of them. I would call Cinder Road a cross between maybe Black Crowes and GnR - in a good way. Now, normally I see the opener as something to be endured until the headliner hits the stage. The opening band can make or break a solid buzz, and I've had many a good buzz wasted on a so-so opener. Well I have to say that I liked Cinder Road. Keeping in mind a good buzz and having just escaped a bad YMCA experience perhaps my opinion is biased - but even the crowd liked Cinder Road. Before I get ahead of myself here, the Roseland was PACKED. I hadn't seen it this packed since seeing the Priest here years ago. We certainly were not alone in our love for Tesla. Anway the crowd really seemed to like Cinder Road, and I especially liked their final number which was a very good cover of "Rebel Yell." It brought the house down - which just goes to show those "originals only" bands that nothing beats a great cover song.
So finally Tesla hits the stage. By this time, Chris has had about 6 or 7 beers and he just comes unhinged over Tesla. Fist pumpin, head banging, foot stompin' - and that was just me. Chris was in nirvana. Tesla came out with hit after hit after hit after hit. They sounded fantastic, and are still 4 of the 5 original members strong. Great stage presence, great songs, just an overall great vibe at the venue. The smell of 420 permeated strong in the air, which isn't my cup of tea since I'm a square about that kind of thing, but I have the sense to know that it's the smell of good time rock and roll, which is what Tesla is all about. Tesla had great song selection and just put on a great show. Money well spent I thought. The only damper of the whole evening was that I saw no White Trash Theater. Being that we got there sorta late due to our out-of-hetero experience before, we had to stand up at the back of the upper level - and we all know that the best White Trash Theater only happens on the main floor near the bar. So, there may have BEEN some WTT going on, but we missed it.
Rating: 4 stars. Dude, I didn't even get hit on ONCE. So much for my boyish good looks.
Symphony X w/Epica and Into Eternity, April 17, 2008 - Hawthorn Theater. Look HERE.
Victor Wooten, May 2, 2008 - Aladdin Theater. Look HERE.
Iron Maiden, June 2, 2008 - White River Amphitheater. Look HERE.
